Since we last talked (or wrote)

Not much to say this time but yet I think that I need to write a few things down........
Roger is in pain of which he endures every day throughout the day and sometimes even into the night...his pain makes him weak and upset .....well lets say he is not himself and hasn't been for a long long time......
Those of you who wonder "what can we do?" well, there is really nothing but just to laugh often, love, and care about people daily. We know that all of you are with us in spirit....I just wish that I could make all of you understand what it is like and then again I want to protect you and Roger from all of this madness.
I am powerless, as all of you. We just must believe that somehow, someday this crazy life here on earth, was worth it and was worth living no matter how short or long of a time we are here.
Hospice will now be involved in our process and I say ours because in life and death it usually involves other people. We welcome you to be as involved or non-involved as you want or need to be....
I have a deep and abiding faith that this is not all there is.
We just must get thru this earthly trial to be free from burden.......
These words don't seem to be mine and I am writing this to all to be with us in this time of trial....because we will all be faced with it at some point in time and I don't think that any of us are truely ready for it.
Roger would love to hear from you with a card or a call....He just is not very social in person anymore, but you can ask him yourself if he would like you to visit him......I will totally let that up to him....his cell is 303-775-1972.....Hope he doesn't kill me for that....but all of you that know the old Roger would already know his phone number.
Take care and I hope that this didn't sound like a sermon....it was meant to be quite the opposite .... As we all know, Roger does not like to attend church.....I know that his mother has accepted that long ago.
With love in our hearts for all of you who read this,
Roger and Dianne

Quote for the day " You never know how strong you really are until being strong is the only choice you really have"

Decision Time

Roger has been faced with a vry difficult decesion after his Doctor's appointment yesterday (Friday July 9

Dr Barnett gave us the report that the pet scan and the MRI showed progression of the prostate cancer in Roger's bones....Spine, shoulders, ribs, arms legs.......It has not invaded his organs at this time...nonetheless his cancer is not responding to anything that they have given him.....Zomita injections will still be given to help strengthen weakend bones due to the cancer....small dose of steroids for pain tolerance and for appettite and Dr. has doubled the dose of fentynol pain patch so that Roger won't have to pop so many percocets when his pain isn't tolerable. Dr. offered Roger to go to Denver to see his colleague at the cancer center there, again for any trial studies Roger might fit the criteria for, to also see if he could get a drug that is currently being used for women and breast cancer that has metastisized to the bone (FDA approved for use in women with breast cancer but not for men with prostate cancer yet) Dr. Barnett is going to work on getting approval somehow for Roger if he can. Roger's bones are so fragile now because of the cancer that if he were to do anything to break any of his spine...it would create a whole new set of problems such as his spinal fluid and surgery to fix the bones that were damaging the spinal fluid.
The other to consider is Hospice at this time if he choses not to go forth with any trial treatments.
Well, I could go on and on and know that some of you want to know the details so it is easier to comprehend that Roger is really not doing very well. His spirit has been broken and I hear him talk to some of you on the phone and he still keeps his sense of humor....He has never once said "why me?" , but he would like everyone to know that sometimes the fight isn't worth the battle. I will and am doing everything in my power to help him through this very difficult fight. He came into my life when I really needed him and gave me his strong hand and his reassuring deep voice to show me my life was still worth living. I must be by his side with whatever decesion he makes about his upcoming treatments or care in his life and I know you all will do the same..... BECAUSE WE LOVE HIM

July 2, 2010

Today was like any other day in the past two years ....Dianne goes to work, Roger does what he can to help me with the household chores and we wait for the phone call from the Doctor
When I got home tonight Roger said that his oncologist called and said that the MRI results showed that it was not in his vital organs, but that the bone cancer has progressed a lot...He wants to talk with us next friday to give results of the Pet scan and to talk about any options now....from what I know before there are not a lot.... if any....
Roger has been put on two patches instead of just one for the pain.....He is getting more and more defeated and I can see that in him.....staying positive is the hardest thing to do in this situation.....I know that everyone is praying and wanting this to just go away by the power of positive thinking and praying.....I want that too.
We will keep you updated when we see the doctor next friday.
Thanks and have a wonderful Fourth