The Smiling Doctor

Yes, Dr Barnett was smiling when he came into the room on Tuesday for Roger's Appointment. He is so very pleased with the way Roger is responding to his treatment. Chemo every three weeks until late January....Zomita for the bones and Hormone therapy. The combination they have going right now has even made the doctor have words of encourgement like "remmission?"
We have not heard any words of encouragement since this whole thing began 4 1/2 years ago. It was music to our ears......Jeff and Jolene have a very strong faith as I know a lot of your do. Roger and I are trting to have one. The road has been a difficult one and we are not complaining. The power of prayer is so powerful that before Jeff and Jolene left our house from Christmas we all gathered in our kitchen for Jolene to say her prayer for Roger and her belief that there could be a Christmas Miracle for us if we would just ask. I feel there was and is. Thank you Jolene for having the faith and the courage to ask....I was afraid to, but you were not.
Thank you everyone for YOUR prayers and thoughts for Roger. we depend on you for that and that is the greatest gift anyone of us could ever have now and anytime in our lives.....I am deeply humbled and thankful for this.......you just don't know what this means at this point in our lives here on earth......Roger is very grateful, but still has a long hard road to bare....and I know he will do it with dignity and strength, because that is who he is.....my Rock.......Happy New Year to all......2010....has a good ring to it.....Love Dianne and Roger

Merry Merry Christmas 2009

And I mean that from the bottom of my heart. It has been, as most of you know, quite the year for Roger and I and our family. I'll begin with Roger. He is undergoing Chemotherapy and will continue until the end of January. His prostate cancer came back and landed in his spine and his left arm. This all started last January. Needless to say it has been one doctors appoinment after another. His oncologist, as of the other day said, with a smile on his face, that the Chemo was bringing Roger's PSA level down and so they will continue treatment so at least he can be comfortable and not in so much pain. We know that it is not a cure, but we will take any kind of good news we can get at this point.
I was bought out of my Dental Assisting School in Niwot as of Sept of this year and started my own....I now have, with a very great working partner this time, Academy for Dental Assisting Careers (ADAC) in Longmont, Greeley and Littleton.. I am still working two days a week for the Dental Office in Niwot and do enjoy it. You just cannot retire me yet, I guess it is just in my blood to work work work.
Ken is in Idaho and is selling cars and thinking of maybe moving back to God's country(COLORADO). His girls Kenna (9) and Jade(7) are in Utah with their mom, but get to be with Ken on Holidays and Summer. We got to see them this summer at Roger's family reunion of which was at our house.
Chad, Tina and Colton and the newest addition Colbie Marie are in Firestone, CO. It is not that far away so I get my Colbie (7 mo.) and Colton (8 3/4) fix as much as I can when I am not working. Colbie was very premature, but is very happy, healthy baby girl and we love her and her big brother. (He can now say at school with pride he has a sibling)
Jeff, Jolene, Jaelyn (4) and Jax( 2) have moved from Texas to Grand Junction, CO. They were able to sell their house in Tx. quickly and Jeff can live anywhere as long as he is near a major airport. He does some travelng with his job (The Empowered Network), but can also work from his home office. Jolene and the kids are adjusting being back in the cold and snow...yes even in Grand Junction.
Aunt Wilma and Gert are doing well, also. Aunt Wilma (85) still lives in her own home, under the watchful eyes of her great neighbors and us. Gert (91) is still amazing us with her vitality. She just got back from being in California with Roger's brother and his wife Doris for Thanksgiving. Plane trip and all, it was a good trip for her she said.
Thanking everyone who has been by our side or prayed for us this year and wishing all of you and your families the best Christmas ever....I know that we will. We are so fortunate to have the greatest kids, grandkids anyone could hope for.
FAMILY>FRIENDS>LOVE that is what it's all about ! ! ! ! !

Love and many Blessings for the New Year
Dianne and Roger

Joyful .....make a noise ! ! ! !

I will shout out loud that prayer and love will and is there for you if you just ask......
Today it was news that we all wanted to hear.....the Doctor came in with a big smile on his face and said ....."Roger and Dianne it is good news"....Your PSA is down and that is what we are measuring to see if the Chemo is doing its job....It is and we are so ever thankful and joyous. We have waited four years to hear some good news and today will ring out in my mind forever....Roger is still having to endure the pain and anquish of Chemoptherapy, but at least it seems worth it right now....Still we know that it isn't a cure, but it sure beats the news that it isn't doing anything so go home and prepare......We still have some things to do and see before we give it up.......anyway...this is my point of view...maybe someday you will actually hear from Roger and his point of view....until then...keep those prayers and all the love you can muster up...for you ,for your families and for... yes... Roger. Thank you and have a great Holiday....in fact make it one of your best Holidays ever....I know that we will...........take care Dianne and Roger

Blood test TBA

Roger had his blood test and Zomita and Accupuncture today...He seemed pretty good when I came home from work....He ate really good, but we will see what tomorrow brings...We won't know anything regarding his blood test until next week, but will keep you informed when we get the news....thanks for hanging with us...it means a lot......Dianne

Monday is nearing

Monday, Roger will get a blood test that will determine whether the Chemo is doing any good. They will see if his PSA level is dropping.... as it got into the hundreds the last time they checked and when the Doctor started him on Chemotherapy. He will also receive another IV with Zomita, a bone strenghtener to help the weak spots of cancer up and down his spine. He has lost some weight, but still eats pretty well and seems to be sleeping as good as can be expected. His beard is thinning and the hair on his head is gone....that is why God made hats... right?
Well, he let me put up a tree and put out lights for Christmas and the grandkids and it looks so very pretty. If you get a chance to drive by or stop by we would love that. Just want everyone to have a blessed Holiday season...especially this one for whatever reason......will keep you all posted on the results as soon as we know anything....

Thanksgiving 2009

Thank you ..Thank you... Thank you....just doesn't seem enough this time of year...for all of your friendships and prayers and visiting and cards....we feel so loved that if love alone could cure cancer...it probably wouldn't have ever entered Roger's body in the first place.
Today we will be going to my Aunt Wilma's house for Thanksgiving dinner. My sister is doing most of the cooking and I made all the pies (Roger wanted my homemade Cherry) Aunt Wilma got her favorite (Pecan) and I made a traditional pumpkin for the rest of us....Ken Torbeck will be spending T-day at some friends in Idaho and will not be with his girls or his MOM....Chad and Tina are going to Tina's Mom's house..Chad has to work this evening at the FAA.... and Jeff and Jolene will be with her family in Grand Junction, but with us for Christmas......Aunt Wilma is doing well as is Colbie Marie(6mo old now) and Aunt Wilma is excited to have us at her house for T-day...it has been about 25 years since we have been there because I took that task over when I had a house big enough for all of the families .....Gert... Roger's mom is in California withRoger's brother for the Holdiay and for her 91st b-day. Thankful? YES indeed.....I have my husband at my side when I wake up in the morning and have him by my side when I close my eyes to go to sleep.....I know that he is being strong for me and that is the kind of husband, father and grandfather we are all very thankful for this year and in the years to come. Love Roger and Dianne

Roger and eastern medicine

East met West today in an accupuncture session for Roger....A chinese (real Chinese) accupunturest saw Roger and treated him for the first time today thru the integrated therapies from Longmont Hospital....It is a program that they say east meets western medicine and they offer some other therapies besides the regular pill and chemo and radiation....He didn't seem to mind and hopefully it will help him thru this very rought time....We are pretty much home bound except I do get to go to work and school and he holds down the fort with Dean our cat which has become quite the companion....or rather Roger has become Dean's companion.....
Dean sometimes will not let Roger alone to rest.....He must play fetch just like a dog. they say it is good to have pets. We appreciate again the prayers, phone calls, food and concern you all have for Roger.....just think of it as Roger is on a hiatus (sp?) and will return to all of us sometime in the new year....it seems like a very long time from now, but time is time no matter how you look at it...the clock still ticks at the same pace, but we don't.......
til we have something to report we will rest the blog for a while.... (: xoxoxoxoxoxoxo

CHemo guy round two

I am trying to have a sense of humor and so is Roger about this whole darn thing...It is tuff, but we gotta do it. We shaved his head last Friday and that day this whole thing became even more real....I told him I would shave mine, but he wouldn't hear of it and neither would my gay hairdresser......the next will be the beard and that will be very different since he hasn't been without it for about 35 years or so.....He is so handsome that nothing will make him look bad.....Yes, I am sure that all of you think it is only hair, but its more....it is CANCER IS REAL when you walk around with a bald head and cannot do anything that you used to do....Roger is now my supervisor with the lawn mowing and the snow shoveling.....I think I am finally getting the hang of it....next it will be changing the oil in the vehicles and rotating the tires...I wonder what kind of score he'll give me for those? We try to laugh every day, hug a lot and keep the positive attitude going. Thanks for all of the prayers...keep them up as we all need them...............Also thank you little easter bunny Lauri for the eggs...that waas a very nice surprise as I am totally hooked on them........This Chemo thing will be going on until the mid to last of January and then....well.....you'll just have to stay tuned for that chapter. The Holidays are just around the corner and we hope everyone keeps all of the loved ones close and then closer......Love to all who read this Dianne and Rog

the good the bad and the ugly

Wanted to let you all know that It will be a week today that Roger had his first Chemo. treatment....He has not left the house and is not feeling that great even after the first treatment....I don't really know whether it is he is waiting to feel like his old self or he just really really does not feel well enough to venture out and about....He did not want to go out for dinner and nothing really tastes good to him as far as any foods. It is a very trying time for the both of us. We are signed up for classes at the Hospital to make some sort of sense and to be around people with the same sort of problems....Will that help? I just don't know at this point....It is up to him and how he feels about himself and what he is doing and thinking at this point...I can only be there to support whatever that may be. Probably won't be blogging for a while unless there is someting significant ot report to all of you who read this.....thank you by the way....your support means the world to us........Love Roger and Dianne

ask and you shall receive

Well today is Wednesday and it was the day that Roger and I really were dreading, ......but....it was the day we heard from his Doctor some good news for once. He told us that the cancer has not spread to his organs (Pet and CT scan) MRI did show more lesions in the spine, But......the radiation took care of the bigger areas the last two radiation therapies he had in the last 6 months. The type of chemo he received today and will continue to get will 50/50 take care of the lesions that are there and help with pain......today he got another hormone shot, a dose of Zomita for bone strengthening and the dose of chemo of which he will get once every three weeks X 6 of which will take us into December. They will evaluate his PSA thru blood work every three weeks to see that his PSA is going down. Now our thoughts and prayers will be to focus on the chemo doing just that and not making him to weak or ill. There will be the side effects, but I will have my friend do accupuncture for the nausa and we will make sure that he has plenty of good nourishment and liquids and vitamins to sustain this treatment. Dr. Barnett seemed optomistic that this would help him feel better in the long run....whatever that long run might be........He said Roger is a very healthy man other than the cancer and that he had hopes that this would help him enough to be able to be more active later on. We are talking January or February now. I prayed for good news and I know that all of you did too.....it worked so keep on praying and thanks ...keep it up ....good job......happy day.......love you all

we would like some good news

Roger has now had yet another MRI, CT scan and Pet scan........MRI showed up more lesions in the spine without symptoms......He will see Dr. Barnett, his oncologist next week..... He will see the nurses of Dr. Barnett to discuss what it entails to go through Chemo and what Insurance will pay for and etc...etc... tomorrow......We were really thinking that some maybe good news would come today.....but Roger asked the question...."will I ever be able to play golf again?" and the answer was you can putt, but not swing, because of the lesions in your spine and the risk of more fractures and pain. He really is taking it well on the outside, but on the inside he is not liking any of this.....He did say that if Dr. Barnett thinks that Chemo won't really help matters that he really is not up for it either......He is not doing that bad with the pain right now, so I think that he thought that there might be some good news.....He desrves some good news.....does anyone have any gooooood news????? we would reallly like to hear it. take care and remeber that we love and pray every day for a miracle and so should you......Love the Torbecks

Sunday a day of rest

Roger has rested all day because I think that he may have overdone it yesterday at the Hanson Memorial....by saying overdid it ....means to him... that he walked around a little ...saw some friends and talked with them...stayed for about an hour or two and then had to leave....I know it was so hard for him to leave me there and go home to a quiet house, when all of us were enjoying the beautiful Colorado sunshine on the golf course. I played but not for very long, helped with the tournament and came home. Today, Roger was not even up for going to see Jeff or Chad and have lunch...he just wanted to stay at home.....He is scheduled for his MRI tomorrow and then the next thing is a pet scan....if the Doctor says that his cancer has not progressed beyond a certain point, then they will start Chemotherapy to slow down the process of the cancer.....I know Roger wants to try it...they say a 50/50 chance of it even helping...and again not curing. At this point he still is trying to sort thru things and just go from day to day.
His meds are working OK, but not good enough for him or how he would like to be feeling....but again he does not complain and it was a heartbreaking moment to see him have to leave a golf course without being able to even swing a club....we know that there is much more to life than Golf, but it was still a big part of his life.
Thank you Sandi for the delicious soup and bread and goodies for our Sunday dinner.....and a great big thank you for all who participated in the Hanson Memorial Tournament.....very special people in our lives.....Love and be loved Dianne

Here we are.R

Here we are in the fall time of year...usually my favorite, but not this year.....Roger has been struggeling with nasua and loss of appetite and pain.....we have him on some addtional meds now and today they seemed to help him. He was actually hungry tonight....We find that with this disease the days that we think are good ones would not be so good to the normal person, but we take what we can get at this point....thank you Joie for the glazed donuts and the kind words...Dale the flowers are beautiful....Patti, it is an honor to be your neighbor and I am so very lucky to have you near. Kelley, Dan, Kehlings kards are a kick! ! ! and everyone that calls and comes by, you know who you are because sometimes I am not home and I don't know who comes over....All of you are our gifts and we thank you every day for your friendship. Big golf tourney this weekend (Hanson Memorial) so Roger is letting John, his brother use his clubs....that is true brotherly love......Roger and I are hanging in there because we love each other so very much........

Lets celebrate Tuesday

Roger is doing better than he has for a while.....He drove for the dealership to the auto auction! ! ! can you beleive it.???/...one day so bad and then bada boom bada bing.....Not to say he is healed, but we cannot look a good day in the mouth so to speak.....the facts are still there , but when we have a good day I will sing it out loud.....this has been going on for four and a half years! ! ! .......we just keep plugging away and want to have the best and give the best of every day......what have you done today? Roger and I want to know.....make it a great day tomorrow....love The Torbecks

Sunday Sunday,

Just a mellow day with Roger, except for the chores that we all have to do at some point in time.......He wanted to get out today and then he decided that he really was not up for it......cannot put my finger on it, but I did finally did fix a good dinner and he actually ate it and came back for seconds.....every day I ask him what he is hungry for and I go get it for him......It is usually bad fast food......but today it was pork tenderloin with fresh green beans from his mother garden and fresh sliced tomatoes and corn on the cob....for desert I made cherry cheese cake.....Ok well not so good for you , but what the heck...He liked it.......Don't know what tomorrow will bring , but we all don 't even know the answer to that one... do we? Have a great week and check in, we'll be around, at least I know that Roger will be.

wednesday is better

Tuesday was supposed to be better

Roger had a very rough day of nausa and fever.....we go to the doc tomorrow and hopefully we will find out why.....it could be an infection or virus.....he has been thru the ringer and is soooo wanting to feel half way decent. He still does not complain and sometimes I wish he did so that he could release some of these demons he is carrying with him.......I know that you all wonder how he is doing and I am doing my best to keep all of you abreast of it. I find it very hard to be of help when you only feel helpless sometimes.......I try to be a good nurse and I know that he needs me......When he is feeling bad he just cannot handle company.....thank you George and Jim for coming to see Roger today.....according to him you drank all of his precious Budweiser and didn't even share with him (just kidding) He didn't say that we gotta laugha t something and it might as well be George.....He loves you guys so much and really ....thank you George for always calling him....he really does love you.....and so do I........we love all of you by the way......what a group of friends....what gifts you all are to us......

Monday, Monday

Not much good came out of this day.... Left work early, because Roger had a very bad night. He is hurting and has a very upset stomach. I think that he is just worn out from fighting this demon since February or maybe even longer than he has let me know. I got him some homemade remedies for nausa and also a prescription. He doesn't see the oncologist until Sept 11th....I am trying my hardest to stay positive and to help him and to let him know that I am there and he is not alone. Today was the first day I saw and heard him weakening under the cancer pressure. Bone cancer is one of the most painful......he has pain meds, but they are not all what they are made up to be......he does not like taking them because of the way they make him feel.....he said he was halusinating last night. I think I may have gotten some of that, because I dreamt of silly things like canoes and big black bears....what a team we are! ! ! We hope for a better day tomorrow, don't we all ?......Lovingly Dianne and Roger

Sunday a day of rest

I will try this one again....I think that I deleted the first one......Roger did not have a very good day....Woke up hurting and was down for the entire day......thank you for all the cards and info we receive.....sometimes it is so much to consume and there are so many ideas for health and wellbeing out there....If anyone knows for sure of something specifically for metastatic bone cancer we would be all ears. I have researched in the early morning hours when I cannot sleep and there is so much out there to read up on and get information from it is literally overwhelming. One must be very selective as to what you try to do.....Roger has been thru a series of a drink that his son led him to, he has taken palmegranite, citrus pectin, we have tried many things that were sent his way. It is exhausting and can consume one. The doctors appointments alone can wear you down. After all of that, he still will give me a smile in the morning and send me off to work with a " have a wonderful day" when I know his is not that wonderful.......sorry to have such a heavy heart, but when you live with a person with cancer everyday...it is so different than an everyday day for a person not living with cancer, if that makes any sense......thank you again for all your thoughts and prayers.....Love Roger and Dianne

Sunday, a day of rest

those of you who care

Roger is finished with his radiation therapy as of today......It was meant to be a big huge vicodin or valium.... not a cure.......Hope to know the results of this long ordeal by maybe next week.......He is still the warrior you would all expect him to be.....silent with his feelings and just hoping for a better day tomorrow. He has really not left the house except for his treatments and a quick jont to the store......He is the most patient man I know...I would be climbing the walls by now.........He reads a lot and watches massive TV.....Golf channel, movies etc........what an existance, huh? but this is his for now.....everyone expects him to be his old self, but he is not.....he is a man with cancer....try to search your souls to think of how you would react in his situation and what you would want to do........sorry to dissapoint you, but you would have no idea until you are faced with this vary situation and I hope that you all will never have to...... it ruins a marriage or stenghtens it , it makes you cry or it makes you stronger, it makes you think, but you don't want it's bare bones truth.....it is CANCER and it is our enemy......sorry to be so blunt, but I am going thru the anget stage right now.....please forvive me.....Just know that Roger is an awesome warrior. even though he does not talk about his cancer to me.....He will some day and I will be there for him that day and many more to come.......take care and laugh often, love more and dance like there is nobody watching.......You are all going thru your own something.....and we love you all.....Roger and Dianne

AND THE BEAT GOES ON

Roger is still undergoing radiation therapy....the only bright spot in his day is that he loves his nurses...they are absolutley wonderful to him and cute......He is tolerating as well as anyone could. He is trying so hard to keep his life and mine normal, whatever that means. I am so very busy with my schools and probably good to distract me, but I feel bad that there is nothing I can do for him nor anyone else.....Cancer is a lonely battle one must fight in his or her own way........we still are very thankful for all of you.....the cards, the banana bread and all of the prayers....
to update you if you are interested my Aunt Wilma is back in her home after being in a nursing home fo almost two months and then my baby "Colbie" grandaughter is doing great...she is now almost 4 months old and weighs 9lbs and 11oz's....she is darling....there are bright moments that I am so very thankful for.
Again thank you all for your prayers...we definitely can use them as I
am sure all of you can
Love Roger and Dianne

whatayagonnado?

Thanks for all of the prayers and well wishes....It is so great to have such caring friends and family. Roger is now going to undergo some more radiation therapy. The T-3 in his spine is fractured and there are other places that the cancer has gone to in his spine....the only thing that they can do is help him with his pain. Radiation did help the arm pain, but with this prostate bone cancer they cannot radiate his whole body like Roger wants them to. They are just trying to keep the pain tolerable. He is not very active as his bones are not strong enough to take any abuse like golf or anything that would jar him.... It is even painful for me to hug him very tight.
I hate cancer and what it does to realtionships and families and peoples lives......I pray for a cure every day. We hope that you will too.....

reliant on the doctors

Supposed to have seen Roger's oncologist today.....we were informed of him running very late and asked if we would reschedule.....we agreed and so we will not see him until next tuesday......Roger will have blood test for PSA level and we will get a report from Dr. Barnett (oncologist) and Roger will tell him how lousy he is feeling and we will go from there. Everyday he is either living with it or dying from it... It is so very hard to see someone that you love everyday in such turmoil and no way out but pain relievivers.........we must find a cure for this and other cancers........I just hope that it will be in my lfietime and I can rest asssured that my darling grandchildren will have other , not so taxing hurdles to overcome. Please now refer back to why and the purpose we are all here.......I think that it will be an awakening for most of you.....I have had to do some real soul searching and have yet to find the real answer....why I here and what is my main purpose in life here on earth? I am just stubborn enough to find out.....meanwhile....a person that I love is suffering and I really don't know how to help him.....
He is not a complainer and I think that he is doing the best he knows how to do given the circumstances.........Thank you to all who understand this journey.......Love Roger and Dianne

time is fun when your having flies ooops

Sorry I have not written for a while.....There has been a lot of things going on here at the Torbeck ranch......Grandchildren visiting, summer house things to get done., Family reunion here (on Roger's side)...a business to run and Doctors appointments up the ying yang......
The thing now that is most important is that Roger can be pain free, but that cannot be done without help.....(drugs) of which he still does not like to take very much of. His arm seems to be better, after the botched cyotherapy/surgery thing at the VA and then radiation in Longmont, but then other things still creep up.....nausea, other places hurting....etc.....etc....
He is now back in Longmont with the help of Medicare and not the VA with Dr. Barnett (oncologist) for his medical needs.
He does have metastisis in areas of the spine, arm and ribs now. He is still trying so very hard to fight this off, but if any of you know him well enough, you must know that if the man has not played Golf since Feb. and not really drank his beloved Budweiser very much ..... he is just not feeling like the ole Roger Torbeck. He is still being a trooper and I know that act is for me.
Please know that he misses all of you and if you would like to come by or call it is very much welcomed by him and by me. You all mean so much to us and our life that we have shared for these years together.
I know that it is hard for some of you to understand the progression of this horrible disease so I urge you to go to ustoo.com. It should explain a lot of things that are happening with prostate cancer and maybe help some of you know what he is experiencing and will continue to experience.
It is a total bummer and we do not deny that. we all just have to make every minute count and that is not just a saying it is the TOTAL TRUTH.....beleive me, i know first hand.......we love you all, Roger and Dianne

Remedies

Everyone seems to have their remedy of what Roger should or should not be doing or be taking to get rid of his cancer and make him well...some think that a nice vacation or a cruise or to play his favorite golf course, but what it all boils down to is.... what Roger really wants is to be pain free and not to feel like he has the flu everyday. His avtivities are very limited and if he does look to do something it wears him out and he is ready for a nap. All of you that are concerned must know that there is no cure, only pain management at this time. He looks good and still has an appetitie. I will attest to the fact that he is not Roger anymore. He does not want to do anything or go anywhere unless it is a really good day for him.
thank you for all the calls and concerns... we really love all of you....Dianne

Remedy's

Blogging by requests

We have been so busy between coordinating treaments and family reunion things, I just have not had time to blog lateley, but you know what they say "no news is good news"? well kinda sorta......Roger is feeling a little better with the pain in his arm, but I think that we may have overdone it today with yard work......He is still my little junk food junkie.....he won't eat anything that is good for him....he is just craving junk food....I hope this passes soon....He is getting a little frustrated with his oncologist of whom won't call him back....Roger has some very valid questions regarding the upcoming IV of Zometa for his bones....he really does not want any bad side effects....he is trying to get over the side effects from the radiation....We will be hosting his family reunion in July, so I hope by then he will be a little better and can enjoy all of his family.....He still has not played any golf...so right there you know Roger Torbeck does not feel well....He did go to our neighborhood meeting place (the Union Hall ) and had two beers today....most he has drank since February!!!!
Aunt wilma is slowly progressing at Life Care Nursing Home and she is so hoping to go back to her home soon....We will have to discuss her future driving, though. Colbie Marie is doing good and she now weighs 6lbs and 8oz. and is still so pretty....She is being monitored by Children's Hospital regarding her heart....if it has not self- repaired by the time she is one year she will have to have a procedure done. We all pray that it won't have to be done....One side of her heart is bigger than the other and has to work very hard to keep up, but she is eating and being very normal otherwise......
Unless things change in any way I probably won't write for a while, but I know that all of you are concerned and want to know how Roger is doing....please feel free to call or come by...Roger usually naps in the early afternoon. Just come to the back door and peek in.....Love to all Dianne

Rough day at the Ofiice

Just wanted to let all of you know that are following this blog and care very much for Roger, that we went to his oncologist today. He came right in a blurted it out that the news he had was not that good....Roger's cancer is definitely spread to his bones in certain areas....the rib, the lower spine and under his left arm.....He is not having any symptoms other than his left upper shoulder /arm of which he has had surgery, cyotherapy and now 10 days of intensive radiation....His pain seems to be a ltitle better and the doc says that he is convinced that he will continue to be better as the days go on....as for future ....again there is no cure, just keeping him under control and hopefully pain managed...they will continue to treat him with hormone therapy until it has completely convinced the doc that it is not helping anymore...The VA Docs and their systems have not left us with a good taste for what they did to Roger and how they went about his treatment with him, but that is neither here nor there now....the cyrotherapy according to Dr. Barnett was just unnecessary and he would have gone right to radiation.....OH WELL....this whole time Roger and I have learned so much that do not let INSURANCE dictate to you the kind of care you need to have......NEXT...Roger took the news like I knew he would....Like a man and then just wanted to eat some lunch and go home...they will also be treating his bones with an intavenous drug that will keep them from becoming too brittle and subject to breaking...that he will endure once a month and will also continue hormone shots....they really have nothing else to offer at this point....If you know or have read anything at all about prostate cancer you would know that there is no cure and that the oncologists around the country are just trying everything to prolong life until they find THE CURE......Roger is not bed ridden and would love to see any of you....just call, and if it is a good day he and Iwould love to see any of you.....love Roger and Dianne

PATIENCE IS A VIRTUE

What the heck does that mean?......Roger is the most patient man in the world....I know that he doesn't like feeling the way that he feels of late, but I still do not hear any negativity from him....He is hopeful that everything will be better when the next day is here....today is sat. and he had a very down day....He is not on any morphine, just Ibuprofen, but that alone is taking its toll on his stomach.....If you want some humor in all of this, he is craving junk food LIKE CRAZY. The nurses told im he needs to eat all the calories he can, because of the radiation. So he listens to them and its whatever he feels like and how much....kind of like a pregnant women....(he is getting female hormones still....I wonder if that has something to do with it?) He hasn't asked for pickles and ice cream yet......We will go to the Doc this tuesday to hear all about tests and results and plans. We will let you all know all about it next blog. thank you again for the food (yummy yummy potatoe salad and beans from Mark and Lori! ! ! Yummy peach cobbler from Terry and Shirley, you all are great.....thank you Patti P. for watching out for us on a daily basis...hope I haven't forgotten anyone......must go for now......

memories

Here is, today, remembering all those who gave their lives for our country and those who have passed on of whom we remember and love. For those of us who are here, let us make the most out of every day....I wake up each morning feeling very sorry for myself and as the day progresses and the people that I encounter throughout my day, inspire me and awe me and keep my life in check. Roger is one of those people.....He is strong and patient and very kind.....He is not feeling very good most of the time, because they are giving him three times the radiation that they gave him before. His body is not accepting it very well. He has read a 900 page book and watched a lot of TV and Movies....Many of his friends have stopped by. His cousins from Ne. and St. Louis came this Sunday to wish him well. Believe me, all of you, he is doing the best he knows how to do.....we are both hoping that this next week of radiation will give him great relief and that he can get back to what he really loves doing and that is playing some golf....we will be hearing the results of most of his tests June 2nd with his oncologist, Dr. Barnett, here in town. We are so hoping that the cancer has not spread anyhwere else and that we can have a little reprieve from what we have been going thru in these last 6 months or so....Thank you again for all the prayers and concerns and (chase lounges)and food and anything that you all do for Roger....it will not go unappreciated and we will be forever grateful for your love......thank you, thank you....Love , The Torbecks

STILL FIGHTING

Have not written for a few, so here goes... Roger is now in Longmont for his treatments for the bone cancer they found in his arm...I don't have a clue what the cryotherapy did, but his pain was and still is there.....They say that the radiation will help the pain.....We have no results yet from the MRI that was done at the VA. Roger went for a pet scan today that will tell us if the cancer had spread to any other parts of the body.....liver, lungs, etc......Roger is still trying to keep the stiff upper lip. I know that he is trying to stay strong for me, I just wish that I could make this all go away for him, because I know what is in store. He will keep on fighting, because that is who he is....He is a dear man and husband, who does not deserve to go thru what he has gone thru so far....The health insurance system in our country needs a big revamping and I would not know how to even begin that task. I just know that for our grandchildren, I hope that it will be better......soon! Roger's fight has been mainly predicated on what Insurance will or will not do for him and when....the system sucks.....hope your Insurance is better......signing off for now.....Love Dianne

HOPE CANCER CENTER

What a great bunch of gals at the Hope Cancer Center in Longmont ! ! !...they greeted Roger with hugs and more hugs.....they all remembered him from last time he had radiation therapy.....he was just mapped out today and then will start with treatments every day for ten days except for the weekends....they said that it would help with the pain.....it is not a cure....there is NO CURE....so if any one is thinking about starting up a cause...lets do it for a cure for prostate cancer that has returned......huh?
His spirits are lifted only to be let down again with pain.....one of his doctors said at the VA that pain is "fear trying to escape the body" it is just hard watching someone you love IN PAIN every day......
they will know more about results of the other tests like the MRI and blood work next week and he will get a PET SCAN next Wed. and that is supposed to tell much more what we will be facing next.....hopefully nothing for a while
I hope that everyone doesn't think that I am not hopeful, I am just a realist and only reporting what I see and hear from Roger and his doctors....
Believe me he gets all my attention when I finally can be at home from work and Aunt Wilma and Colbie and all the other things that keep me away.
I wish that all my attention could be just for him. His mother is a worry now too because she has been to many eye docs to find out why her eyes are failing her...they say it is because of bleeding behind the eye, but it doesn't seem to be getting better and we both cannot attend to her needs as well as we should, because of everything else....luckily she has wonderful support at her Church to take her to her appointments..Roger and I feel bad that we can't help her out more with things.....we just can't right now.....
God is good.....Colbie is doing good at home and is now 5lbs 4 oz and I got to hold her today for a really long time and that felt so good.....she is of course my little miracle.....she still has things to overcome too, but I know that she will.....
enough for tonite and this weekend.....will write more next week.....love to you all

WE ARE HOME

All in all it was a good day.....We finally made it home to a Doctor that treats Roger like a human being and that he is worth the effort to work on his cancer and treat him.....Roger will be having his first radiation therapy tomorrow! ! We just saw Dr. Barnett today and look at the results already!!! The Tumor was definitely caused from the prostate and Barnett was a little confused as to why they did cryotherapy first and not radiation on the tumor. He assured Roger that radiation would help the pain eventually. He will get the results of Rogers's MRI that was done yesterday at the VA of his lower spine ( of which they saw a spot) ordered a pet scan of the whole body to see if it is in the lungs or liver or if anywhere else for that matter....VA doesn't have a pet scan machine so they never ordered one....I even asked for one....oh well we are home now and Roger is happy about that....
Colbie Marie is home and gaining weight, but she will need to go to Denver to a specialist regarding the heart murmur issue....I will finally get to see her on my way home from Lakewood tomorrow
Aunt Wilma is doing fine at Life care and seems to be content for now. She is looking forward to going to her house for a while on Sunday. I am doing her bills and taking care of a few things at her home for now. She doesn't have her little parakeet to worry about anymore because he went to birdie heaven a few months ago....
We will keep you all posted and thanks for keeping in touch and praying for Roger....I know that he is very grateful for all the wonderful friends.......

STAPES OUT! & SO ARE WE

Roger and I went to the VA for his post op appt and to get the staples removed from his shoulder......wound is healing good.....I finally got to met the Phantom Doctor who did the surgery....seems like an OK guy. I even got to ask him some questions....
1. Why didn't you take the tumor out?
answer: Was in a very unusal place and was metastisized to the bone so that if they did start the removal Roger would definitely been impaired with his movement of his arm...they want to do radiation to make sure that the tumor is destroyed completely and that it will help ease the pain of movement. (Cryotherapy was the only answer for where this was)
2. Other test for proteins in the blood( they were concerned with came out normal )to my understanding...( this was a 24 hour urine collection test)
Prostate cancer is very wide ranged and with no cure for those experiencing reoocurance.
With Roger, they are still scratching their heads because of where this tumor decided to appear and it did come back denoting the cells were that of prostate cancer cells.
Roger took himself off Morphine and percocet on Sunday and is trying to get by with extra strength tylenol and ibuprofen.....He is having some trouble with the side effects of getting off narcotics....chills, upset stomach, diarreah
we are anxious to talk with Dr. Barnett tomorrow to get his opinion on the course of treatment and what suggestions he might have....If in fact he does do the radiation, hopefully we can do this at the HOPE cancer center , where Roger did his last series of radiation a few years ago.
we try to keep our spirits high...laugh a little, hug a little and eat, sleep and wait for the next day to let us know anything is possible with Love and hope.......
It is very hard watching someone you love in pain and yearning to be normal and to do normal things...I had to blindfold him when we went by the golf courses today. He soooo wants to be out there with his buddies.....we will see.
thanks again for all of your thoughts and prayers........love you all ! ! ! Dianne and Roger

Happy b-day to Roger and to Colbie Marie

Colbie Marie got home today so I consider that her b-day for arriving at her home. ( on Roger's B-day...she now weighs 4 lbs. 14 oz and has been drinking from her new bottle with ma ma's milk for two days now...so she wins her trip home to her house in Firestone, with her MOM and DAD AND COLTON.....I will check in with them tomorrow....Chad had to pick her up because Tina had a stomach bug and was in the bathroom all day.....Aunt Wilma is doing fine at Life Care and is being a real trooper........
ROGER'S 65th b-day today.....started with a nice card from me(yes, me of 14 years) and a breakfast burrito from Santiagos.....Roger is trying so very hard to ween himself off of the Morphine and so he had a really bad stomach ache this am....so I don't know how well the buritto was welcomed....I had to go to Greeley today and returned home and no Roger....He had taken Chad's truck out for a spin (as he has not driven, had a beer, or anything else for that matter in a very LONG time) I asked the neighbors where he was, I thought I had an escaped prsioner on my hands....guess the adventure really wore him out.....Had a very nice dinner tonite and then his TV programs and off to bed...... That is about it when you are 65 .....all the excitement you can't handle.....He will be going for his MRI tomorrow at the VA and then to get his staples out( of which are very overdue).....
then on thursday an appointment with Dr Barnett for a second opinion on all of the things that have taken place with the VA and him in the past year....stay tuned, because we just don't know what is going to transpire next.......thank you for all of your prayers......we are just numb with all of the things that have happened in the last two or three months....We need a miracle, but I guess you could call Colbie our little miracle....we will keep you informed as we are informed, because we know you care and are very grateful for that...... here is to our loyal friends and family....love Dianne and Roger

Not the news again

It is early, early morning and I cannot sleep...Roger got a call from his oncologist and his pathology report finally came back that this tumor was actually from prostate cancer...We were told that they killed it and destroyed it with the cryotherapy, and that they would send both before and after samples to Walter Reed for further testing. Roger has not been progressing like a normal surgery should progress and we have to wait too long in-between time to get results and answers...He received this answer after three phone calls to the VA asking them to please get back with us...Not the news we wanted to hear...Roger took the phone call when I was at work and he wishes that I were here to hear all what the oncologist had to say. They want him to do radiation therapy to see if that will help with the pain....I am calling Dr. Barnett, an oncologist here in Longmont (of whom Roger has seen before the VA) for a consultation ASAP to try to get another opinion and to get better help closer to home. He is trying so hard to be patient, but I know that he would like all of you to know that although he may look fine to you all, he is still in a lot of pain and that his fight is not over yet......TBC Dianne ps.....he is also scheduled for another MRI and post op wed. May 13th, the day after his 65th b-day

Not the news we wanted to hear

And the days go by

Hello everyone who reads this....the days go by in our lives so quickly......and we just want to give thanks for each and every one of them....today was one of the best days since this all began....Roger seems to be feeling a little better. I don't know whether it is because I finally had someone at the VA hospital answer me after three days of leaving messages about him....or it was just a sunny day and nothing major happened....We took Roger's bandages off today after his shower to find out that he has staples of which we were not informed of .....he won't get a post op or have them out until May 13th ...the day after his 65th b-day......come on medicare! ! ! !.....medicare has always been good to my family and I just hope they are with Roger...because guess what?....I am pulling us out of the VA as soon as we can.....He has an MRI of his lower back on the 13th as well, so we will go forth with that and then I definitely think it is time to leave the VA and get closer to home.....He has not driven or even had a beer in two months.....I know that he is missing golf, but he is getting caught up on the virtual golf aspects on TV....so watch out twin peaks mens club! ! ! !.....
My little Colbie continues to gain weight , but not enough to go home yet.....Gosh, she is a beautiful little baby.......Aunt Wilma is in Lifecare center now in Longmont and I think happy to be there with all of the attention and care.....we just could not keep her home with her needs right now and we hope and pray it is just a temporary place for her and she can return home....Everyone there was just shocked to hear why and how she got there....she is a trooper and a strong ole German women, just like her mom (my grandmother who died at age 100) a few years ago.....she is still so positive and brings hope and joy to any situation....I wish I could be more like her......
Must go for now .....have a great evening......love The Torbecks

WE LOVE FOOD

Thank you to Judy for the wonderful brownies and to Nadine and Jack for the wonderful Sunday nite dinner....it fed Roger and me and Aunt Wilma and Roger's mom Gert.....thank you it was wonderful.....Just getting ready to gear up for the week.....Colbie Marie is doing well, Colton made a Touchdown today and Roger is doing OK, but still hurting and we hope that it will be better in the next day or so.......I must return to my day job tomorrow and Aunt Wilma will be going to her Doctor to see what and how she is doing.....We are going to have to make some hard decsions regarding her long term care......She will be with us tonite and then ???? It was good for Roger to have her here and see how she is taking all of this.......Unless there is anything new I won't be writing for a few days.....we are coasting for now YEAH!!!!! coasting is good I think......dianne

all's quiet tonite on the western front

Thank you Kathi and Warren and Janel for your conerns and offer to help...we are doing ok for now, but you are more than welcome to come by and see Roger...Janel I owe you a lunch soon......Colbie is now 4lbs.8 oz.....and is now filling out her premie clothes.....I wish I knew how to post her picture...if anybody knows how to do that please speak out now....I am so computer iliterate...duh.....Roger had a pep talk from his nurse today (that be me) and I think that it may have helped because it made him mad and that is ok.....he cannot just lay and hibernate....it was ok with me for a few days...but not anymore......Aunt Wilma is sleeping soundly in Roger's big oversized recliner and loving it....she will be here for the night and Sunday until we figure out a plan B.....She never complains and if I have one patient, I might as well have two....it was just easier for me to bring her here instead of leaving Roger home alone...She was perfectly willing to come here...She also asked if the Police thought that she had been stalked before she was acosted. I really don't know.....Roger is resting and hopefully tomorrow will be a good day for everyone.....til next blog..... Dianne

another day in the lives

Did not get any sleep last night....was very grateful to AuntWilmas's wonderful neighbor ,Phil, for getting home just in the nick of time to save her....She has multiple contusions and wounds on her left and right hand and arms....a broken right hand and her purse stolen of which many important things along with money were in, but she still keeps that "miss Mary Sunshine Attitude" about her....she is in pain and wants not to be alone now.....She told the police ever since her husband died (my sweet Uncle Bud) she has never been afraid to stay alone until now....we will keep careful watch over her....thanks to my niece Kari, Cheryl and Ronnie my brother and sister......As far as Roger....I have to leave him way too much during the day, because of one thing or another .....running your own business has its good and bad....Needless to say I am way busy and I should be at home....Roger seems to still be in a lot of pain and then when he takes his morphine he seems very weak.......His appetite is not what it usually is and I am worried about his recovery....but I will be positive and keep him on the right path to being well and enjoying life again......Colbie, my littlest darling is still in the hospital, doing her best to get bigger and stay well....she has been a little conjested, Tina says, and they switched her nose feeding tube to the other nostril again.....she is now a whopping 4lbs. 6 oz. and she has recieved two baths and her cord has fallen off.....she still needs to be feeding from her mom or the bottle in order for her to go home....she has a heart murmur and the doctors are watching her carefully....not carefully enough for grandma, but what do I know? when she starts teething is when I can be of help......well must go for now.....laundry is piling up.....hope to see any of you soon......love and gratefulness Dianne

You just won't believe it

Just when you think things are finally going well and things are looking up BAM BAM. thankfully Roger is doing OK , but I had to go to work today and leave him with the phone unplugged and a note on the door...in a few days he will be more friendly....pain and morphine don't do very nice things to people.....anyway, got home late to the phone call that my Aunt WIlma had been assaulted in her own yard in daylight after she was coming home from picking Roger's mother up on their way to see us, because they had not heard from us today. She was badly injured and I spent the night at the hospital ER with her and my brother and sister. She will be ok, but her purse was stolen right off her shoulder and she was dragged and the guy ran off....we have talked to police and ER doctors all night.....I am sure that Roger is thinking that what can happen next around here? He hopefully will be up for company by Sunday....Sounds like baby Colbie is doing ok and I will get to see her tomorrow after not seeing her for a few days. My Aunt is so kind and positive that she is telling me to go home and get some rest and here I sit doing the blog, cannot go to sleep. thinking of al the people now who read this and send their good thoughts our way....Thank you very much and goodnight or is it goodmorning now? 1:30am

HOME SWEET HOME

Just got home from the VA about 7 pm....it was quite the process to enter and quite the process to exit that place, but we got er done......Roger is of course very happy to be at home, but the car ride alone was very taxing on him (I hope it wasn't my driving, he hates how I drive who am I kidding?).....oh well he is home with more morphine and we will see the tumor doc in about 10 days and the have an MRI on May 13th and it just keeps on going.....we are feeling good about the results...only if in a week or two he can tell a difference with the pain.....we will all keep positve.....he said the only thing he needs right now is a chase lounge to sit outside when it is nice ...and then later on be able to play golf again...who knows maybe it will improve his game?
All I ask of our friends and family is that the prayers won't stop and that you will wait a while to call or come by....as you might know the hospital is not a place to rest or sleep....and please remember if you have a cold or anything that he might catch from you just wait and you can see him at a later time.....e-mails are welcome and I will do my best to keep everyone informed and answered......it is my job and I am glad to do it, because I know how much you all care....we are so blessed to have friends and family like all of you.......Love Roger and Dianne

Tumor destroyed by cryotherapy

Roger was resting when I left him at 9:30 tonite...His surgery was about three hours and the tumor doctor still says it is very unusual and did not elect to remove it, but take some more of it ...send it to Walter Reed and freeze and kill the tumor and let the body do the rest.....he thinks that his pain will slowly go away, but that it will increase for this next week or so while the healing process begins...yipee more morphine....he still has more tests to undergo, but I think that they are just trying to be very thorough and are definitely not very fast at it. I will go back in the am, but I don't know that he will be coming home tomorrow....he has a catheder, IV, Morhpine drip and a drain tube where the surgery took place.....His arm and shoulder are numb from the block they did and he was not liking that....I think that he thinks he won't be able to ever feel his hand and arm......we thank everyone for their prayers for Roger and our little Colbie....looks like the power of prayer and how loud it sounded in the heavens really worked....just keep them coming....we love all of you and want to thank you....you know who you are......TBC

Twas the night before surgery

Roger finally had to call today to find out what time his surgery was...it will be at 1:30 in the afternoon on Tuesday April 28th...He is definitely ready, just hope we both can sleep tonight.
I will try to blog or get a phone chain going to let all of you know what is happening when I know....it might not be until 6 or 7 at night....I will be staying in Denver hopefully at the hospital...I just don't know much more than this for now...I do know that Colbie Marie Hanson is the most beautiful baby ever and is progressing slow but very sure.....We are ever so thankful for all of the well wishes and prayers....keep them coming Roger and Dianne

Pass interception

Colton had a flag footbal game today and intecepted a pass...it was awesome...He so loves that he has a baby sister....greatful today for family and friends...Mary and Duncun came with dinner and we had nice time....Roger got tired and went to bed early....we are counting the days and hours now til his surgery so that we can have some answers......Little Colbie is hanging in there and she is doing as well as she can for now.....she is still the prettiest baby ever....TBC Dianne

Saturday,Saturday...Saturday...Saturday

Reminds me of an Elton John song eh? Today I had to leave hubby home alone again while I taught class in Niwot....Long Day but got home to a wonderful dinner by Sandi and Duane...thank you Duane for caulking our bathroom....I 'll pay you back somehow.....Also wanted to thank Don Cossel for lunches for my husband and for all of those surprises for the golf tourney this fall....you are great....
Today Roger seems to still be coping with the pain and I have not been to see my little peanut granddaughter since yesterday....I might go up there tonite when Chad is there feeding her....how about that?
It is in the rough times when you really notice who comes to your side to help you thru this trying time....we have so many wonderful friends and it is hard to put into words just what you all mean to us......
Surgery is just around the corner on the 28th and for Roger it cannot come soon enough, we just hope it will cure the pain and he can play golf (one of his favorite things to do)again....Not much else to report this rainy day....take care all TBC Dianne

thank you Joe for coming by to see Roger and for you and Helen passing along some very important information....we really appreciate that....you are grat people and friends and we love ya

today is a sunny day

It is still and orange day, but I forgot a few people and that is Neal Mize who I know would do anything for Roger except pay him a compliment.....they love to curse at one another and so far I ahve not heard anything from the old man.....what is up with that Mize???? thanks for being our friend and for marrying Donna....that is all for now.......

today is a sunny day

I have chosen orange today because it is my grandson Colton's favorite color and one of my favorite colors........Roger seems good today and had another day filled with friends and small activities.....we had a nice dinner provided by patti puzo and then I am trying to fill everyone in on the doings for today with Roger and Colbie.....Chad is taking on the 9:00 pm feeding shift of which I am so very proud of him to even do that,,, he has been playing mr. mom and doing the house and Colton and working to boot....Tina is an awesome mom and is very patient and kind......Roger is doing good for today and very anxious to get this whole thing behind him....we never know what the future may hold , but if it were up to our great friends and family we would be celebrating and having the biggest party ever......soon I hope....4 more days til surgery......thanks for all who are invloved in our life....we love you.....Sandy and Duane, Donna. Patti you are wonderful cooks we really appreciate it.....Love you too Mary Lou and Duncan and Tom and Lynn and Beth and Dennis, and timn and Lynda and Carol and Dan and Mary and Larry and George and Mike and if I have forgotten anyone please forgive me, because I am not home a lot to see who all came by....Just know that you are all appreciated and loved by us..... TBC Dianne Love you Patti Miller and Tom and Lynn I could go on and on.......

can't forget the cinnamon roll lady

thank you patti puzo for all the nourishment that you provide us....the cinnamon rolls are of course roger's favorite and he actually only gives me the morsals....your bread and the other food and just your being there whenever I need to come over.....thank you soooo much....you are truly one of a kind.....love ya dianne

Thursday and looking better

Thanks for all the company for Roger and the food...Mowing the lawn by our great neighbor Larry and for lunch by Dixie....and Don Cossel....visits by lots of friends and calls ....we are so fortunate to have such a wonderful lot of friends......Thank you all.....
Roger seemed happier today and his pain seems to be under control for now....just really looking forward to the surgery and some results.....Our anniversary was spent together and that is all that matters.....Colbie Marie Hanson is out of her incubator and now weighs a wopping 4lbs.3 oz......she is still the most beautiful baby ever...besides our others....Tina seems better today and Chad is even going in for the 9:00 pm feedings himself....way to go Dad ! ! TBC dianne

its another day !!!!

Today is our 14th anniversary and I tease Roger that I must be his favorite wife because I am the longest running Mrs. Torbeck besides his Mom.....we will spend a quiet evening at home. Roger is always big on pampering me for anniversaries and for my birthday.....I know that he feels bad, but I told him as long as we have each other nothing else matters....He is being a very brave and patient man.....I called the VA today to confirm that his surgery was really the 28th and they said yes, but we wouldn't know until Monday about what time it will be.....they will keep him, but I don't know for how long....I will take my laptop so that I can keep you all informed.....
Tina and baby are doing OK....Tina and I had a minor melt down because Colbie is only 4 days old and has had to endure so much too....wires and feeding tubes and she is so tiny and cute and innocent we just are glad she won't remember any of this, but we will. It is so very hard for a mother to leave her baby and go outside of the hospital...I feel so bad for Tina. Hopefully Colton and Chad will cheer her up tonight.
TBC Power of Prayer it really works! ! !

good days bad days

Good day because our little premature grandaughter is doing ok for now and Roger tried today to get off his pain med and found that he could not....went to his moms for dinner and right after dinner he was not doing well and we came home.....his pain is real and what is really bad is that he has to wait so long for his surgery....that is the way of the VA for ya...paperwork and when THEY have time fo you and only then....I have tried to bark loud and nobody seems to hear but Roger...and then he trys to calm me down...it is horrible to watch someone that you love in that much anguish and pain for so long now.....all of youask what you can do....and my response is just be his friend and pray like you never prayed before.....thank you ...unitl next time Dianne

happy day for us

Today was the birth of our little....and I mean little Colbie Marie Hanson...born april 18, 2009 at 7:58 am at Longmont United Hospital....she weighed in at a whopping 4 lbs and is 17 inches long with dark hair and dark eyes.....of course she is the cutest baby ever besides our other 5 grandchildren.....we love them all.....Roger hasn't seen her yet, just the pictures we took today....You can find some of them on facebook (Tina Hanson) I think....

Roger's brother John is here from Ca. for a visit and he has had in the last couple of days friends call and also stop by....He really appreciates all of his friends and so do I....we just don't know what we would do without all of you....thank you to all who have brought books and food and plain just good vibes and wishes for Roger to be OK again.....His morphine seems to be helping and as long as he doesn't make any sudden moves.....eveyone keeps asking why do we have to wait so long for his surgery, but that is the way of the VA and its system.....it is very maddening and I feel helpless.....( and as many of you know that is hard for me to keep my mouth shut)TBC

11 days til surgery

Last night was a good night for sleeping. I think that Roger being on Morphine and sleeping good helped me sleep good. I am heading up to Longmont Hospital to see how Tina and the baby to be are doing today and then it is off to Niwot. Roger and Dean (our cat and Roger's best friend) will hold down the fort until I get back. Will keep in touch now only if things change. thanks to all of you who have checked in with us. We really appreciate it and love you all...Roger and Dianne

Thursday at the VA

Roger went to his oncologist today to confirm surgery for April 28th on a tumor of unknown origin right now. Because of his fight with prostate cancer and given that he is on Morphine right now for the pain, we just need them to take this thing out so he can get better. His PSA level has been rising again giving indication that the cancer might be active somewhere in his body...they do not know whether this tumor is the result of that. Pathology will be sent to Walter Reed in Washington DC after it has been removed. We are praying for the best and for him to be pain free and the play some golf this summer.

Also you may or may not know that Chad and Tina and Colton are awaiting their little baby girl....she is trying to come too soon and Tina has been hospitalized since last Sunday in hopes they can keep her in her mommy's tummy a while longer so that she can be fully developed when she arrives.....she weighs about three pounds right now and lungs are not up to what they should be.....again we are praying for them too.